10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF A DIVORCE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

1. Consult an Attorney

2. Copy Documents

3. Inventory Household and Family Possessions

4. Know the Household Budget and Expenses

5. Determine How to Manage the Family Debt

6. Determine Exactly What Your Spouse Earns

7. Figure Out Your Own Earning Potential

8. Examine Your Own Credit History

9. Start Your Own Separate Bank Accounts

10. Put Your Children First in the Divorce


1. CONSULT AN ATTORNEY

It is important to know your legal rights and become informed about you and your spouse’s responsibilities. An experienced divorce attorney can advise you on the law as it applies to the facts of your situation and counsel you on the options available to you. Many divorce attorneys provide a free initial consultation. If you refer to the local yellow pages or the attorney’s website, it should clearly state whether the attorney provides a free initial consultation. The picking of an attorney is an important decision and you must feel comfortable with the attorney you select to represent you.

2. COPY DOCUMENTS

This is one of the most important things you can do in preparation for your divorce and that is to go through the household files and make copies of everything you can find including but not limited to tax returns, bank statements, check registers, paycheck stubs, employee benefits handbooks, retirement account statements, life insurance policies, mortgage documents, investment statements, financial statements, credit card statements, social security statements, wills, automobile titles, and any other relevant documents. Be sure to check your home computer as many people keep financial information on the home computer. Copy at least one year of documents, more if it is available, such as the last three years of tax return, etc. Take copies of documents found on the computer. It is easier to obtain these documents now then in the divorce discovery process later on. It is important to keep these documents in a safe place such as with your attorney, a trusted friend or family member. Do not leave the documents in your home or your vehicle.

3. INVENTORY HOUSEHOLD AND FAMILY POSSESSIONS

Create a list of major items such as furniture, artwork, jewelry, appliances, automobiles, etc. You do not have to list every spoon, knife and fork, just the major items. Also, with the advances in computers and cell phones, it would be a good idea to take photos or a video of all items in your home. Be sure to open closet and cabinet doors and other storage areas and document and take photographs. If you have a safety deposit box, list the contents in it. Again, keep this information in a safe place as suggested in the prior paragraph.

4. DETERMINE HOW TO MANAGE THE FAMILY DEBT

It is important to determine the monthly expenses for the household. A helpful document you can obtain from any attorney (should be free to charge) is a financial affidavit. The affidavit is a form for determining monthly income, monthly expenses, assets and liabilities. You should also be able to obtain the document online by entering divorce financial affidavit. The financial affidavit provides you with a concise list of income and expenses versus having to copy all utility documents, food receipts, etc. Ultimately, a financial affidavit must be filed in your divorce case, even if it is uncontested. The affidavit will help you determine the amount of alimony you may require if that is at issue and help you determine if you can afford the home after the divorce.

5. KNOW THE HOUSEHOLD BUDGET AND EXPENSES

You should first consider canceling joint credit cards, especially if your spouse has a bad spending habit. This should minimize the financial damage an upset or angry spouse can do during the divorce. Next determine if any of the debt is non-marital, that is debt your spouse incurred prior to the marriage. That debt belongs solely to the spouse who incurred it. Next determine marital debt, and if possible and reasonable, consider paying it down after discussing this with your spouse. Allocation of marital debt between the parties is one of the most difficult items to negotiate in a divorce. Also remember funds that were formerly available to support one household must now support two households and there is less money available to pay off debt as a result.

6. DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT YOUR SPOUSE EARNS

If your spouse earns a regular salary, it should be easy to review and copy his/her paycheck stub to ascertain his/her income and benefits i.e. health insurance, etc. If your spouse is self-employed or paid in cash, it is going to be much more difficult to accurately determine his/her income. In these cases, keep track of the money flowing in to the household for several months and the money flowing out for those several months. Also, at least three years of business tax returns will be important to find and copy.

7. FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN EARNING POTENTIAL

If you have been a stay at home mother and wife, determine what your current employability is and whether you need to further your education prior to the divorce, if possible. Does your current job require you to be out of town. If so, consider whether you want to continue to do this when you no longer have a spouse to provide childcare. Determine the type of childcare you will need and the associated costs and availability of the childcare you require in your area.

8. EXAMINE YOUR OWN CREDIT HISTORY

If you do not have credit cards in your own name now, apply for them to establish your own credit history. If you have a poor credit rating, then try to pay creditors before the divorce is filed and improve your own credit rating. After the divorce or during the divorce, you may need to rent a home and your landlord will examine your credit history or you may need to buy a car and again your credit history will be reviewed.

9. START YOUR OWN SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS

You should have access to money of your own even if the divorce is only a remote possibility. If your spouse moves out and he/she is the primary income earner, then you may be responsible to pay the bills and it could take time before support orders can be entered in your divorce case. Or it could be you who decides to move out and you will need funds to pay a security deposit, possibly last month’s rent and other deposits for a new home. If you are going to file the divorce, and even if you are not, you need money to pay a retainer to hire an attorney. Retainers range from $2,000.00 to $5,000.00. The retainer fee is just the initial fee you pay to your attorney to retain that attorney and get the divorce started and does not cover the complete cost of the divorce. Filing fees for a divorce generally run about $400.00, depending on the county you file in and the service fee can run from $40.00 to over $100.00.

10. PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST IN THE DIVORCE

Do not fight or argue in front of the children EVER. So as to minimize the impact the divorce has on the children, maintain their normal routine as much as possible. Do not talk to the children about the details of the divorce and never speak negatively about the other parent in front of the children or in earshot of the children. In fact, reassure the children how much you and the other parent love the children. Do not use the children to pass along messages or requests to the other parent. DO NOT use your children as pawns in your divorce. Put the needs of your children first before, during and after the divorce. It is likely the children will suffer the most as a result of your divorce. Remember, you are there to support your children not vice-versa.

11. THE DIVORCE ITSELF

Remember once the divorce is filed it takes time. Your attorney has to comply with specific timeframes on the filing of documents throughout the divorce. Also, the judges and mediators are overwhelmed with the number of divorces filed these days. It can take up to several months to obtain a hearing before your judge. Unless you and your spouse agree on everything, then expect your divorce to take at least six months.

Does it matter who files first in the divorce: NO, it does not contrary to what most people believe. The judges do not care who files first. Why, because Florida is a “no fault” state and the only reason you need to file a divorce is “irreconcilable differences.” So do not fret if your spouse files first.