CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS

A child has a moral right and should have a legal right:

1.               To receive parental love and affection, discipline and guidance, and to grow to maturity in a home environment which enables him/her to develop into a mature and responsible adult;

2.               To be supported, maintained, and educated to the best of parental ability, in return for which he/she has the moral duty to honor his/her father and mother;

3.               To be reared as a person, within the family, at school and before the law;

4.               To receive fair treatment from all in authority;

5.               To be heard and listened to;

6.               To earn and keep his/her own earnings;

7.               To seek and obtain medical care and treatment and counseling;

8.               To emancipation from the parent-child relationship when that relationship has broken down, the child has left home due to abuse, neglect, serious family conflict, or other sufficient cause, and his/her best interest would be served by the termination of parental authority;

9.               To be free of legal disabilities or incapabilities save where such are convincingly shown to be necessary and protective of the actual best interests of the child;

10.            To receive special care, consideration, and protection in the administration of law or justice so that his/her best interests always are a paramount factor;

11.            To believe that he/she has the love and respect of each parent and that each parent is worthy of his/her love and respect; and

12.            To be free of the adverse influence of quarrelsome parents; to be free of parental efforts to alienate the child from the other parent.

Document is from the Parenting Plan for the Twelfth Judicial Circuit                    

TIPS FOR TESTIFYING IN COURT

The most important recommendation for someone about to testify in court is to be truthful.  Generally, the attorney representing the opposing side is going to ask you the same question in different ways, possibly several times.  It is easy to remember the truth. 
 

Be sure to let the examiner finish his/her entire question to you before you start to answer.  Sometimes people will anticipate what the question will be and start to answer it when that was not the question that was going to be asked and you end up giving the wrong answer to the examiner’s question as a result.

 It is important to verbalize your answer clearly as most court sessions are recorded and a court reporter may also be in the courtroom with you taking down your testimony.  It is important not to mumble when testifying.  For example, say “yes” versus “yeh” or “unhuh” as the latter are not clear verbal responses.  The nodding of a head cannot be heard.  If you are answering a question that requires you to point to a part of your body, be sure to verbalize the part of the body you are pointing to.  For example, if you point to your elbow also state I am pointing to my elbow.

Be sure to answer the question on point and do not bring in unrelated issues in your answer.  If you do not answer your questions on point, then the hearing will drag out and you potentially open doors to other questions you may not be prepared to address. 

If you do not know the answer to question, just say so.  There is nothing wrong with answering a question this way if you honestly do not know the answer.

If part way through your testimony you realize you have answered a previously asked question incorrectly and you now recall the correct answer, advise the examiner that you need to change an answer because you inadvertently or accidentally answered it wrong.

Never interrupt the examiner or speak over the examiner.  If you have a court reporter present, he or she cannot accurately record multiple people talking at once.  If the session is being taped, it is unlikely the testimony will come through clear and be understood.  Therefore, the end result may be critical testimony not coming out in the written version of the taped session.               

Always maintain eye contact with the examiner when you are testifying.  Also if possible, be sure to glance at the judge regularly.  Part of the Judge’s job is to determine your veracity.  Veracity is defined as your ability to answer questions truthfully. 

Only talk when you are addressed or asked a question by the examiner.  The examiner may be your attorney or the opposing side’s attorney, or the judge.  Otherwise, your attorney will do the majority of the speaking at your hearing/trial.

You are not allowed to ask the examiner questions or make generalized statements to the court.  If you have retained an attorney, it is your attorney’s job to ensure the court hears everything important in your case within the confines of the applicable rules that govern procedure.

Do not make faces while you are testifying or when your spouse or a witness for your spouse is testifying.  Do not laugh out loud or make any kind of comments when someone else is testifying even if you strongly disagree with what the person is stating in response to a question.  It makes you look bad to everyone in the courtroom, most importantly the judge.   In a courtroom, the judge is the highest authority.  Be respectful to the judge by paying attention to the judge, sitting quietly while the judge or someone else is speaking or testifying.  Also, do not unnecessarily shuffle papers while someone else is speaking or testifying as unnecessary noise may disturb the judge or the person speaking resulting in them having to start over and this may unnecessarily drag out the hearing.   Be polite and pleasant while you are in the courtroom.

Finally, make sure you have a glass of water close by to where you are testifying.  Most people are nervous when they testify and their mouth becomes dry.  Having water will resolve the dry mouth syndrome and can sometimes be used effectively to give you more time to answer the question.  All courtrooms have water available to those who want it.  It is also very important to keep breathing.  It will help to relax you if you maintain steady breathing.    

TAX REFUND – MARITAL ASSET OR NOT?

Where the parties have a joint tax refund that results from a voluntarily filed joint income tax return for a tax year in which the parties were married, this refund is considered a marital asset.  As such, the refund is subject to equitable distribution between the parties or husband and wife. 

If your spouse takes the entire refund, you may seek your equitable share as part of the distribution of marital assets in your divorce.  Be sure to mention it to your attorney and it is a good idea to state that you are seeking equitable distribution of this marital asset in your divorce petition or counterpetition. 

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF A DIVORCE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

1. Consult an Attorney

2. Copy Documents

3. Inventory Household and Family Possessions

4. Know the Household Budget and Expenses

5. Determine How to Manage the Family Debt

6. Determine Exactly What Your Spouse Earns

7. Figure Out Your Own Earning Potential

8. Examine Your Own Credit History

9. Start Your Own Separate Bank Accounts

10. Put Your Children First in the Divorce


1. CONSULT AN ATTORNEY

It is important to know your legal rights and become informed about you and your spouse’s responsibilities. An experienced divorce attorney can advise you on the law as it applies to the facts of your situation and counsel you on the options available to you. Many divorce attorneys provide a free initial consultation. If you refer to the local yellow pages or the attorney’s website, it should clearly state whether the attorney provides a free initial consultation. The picking of an attorney is an important decision and you must feel comfortable with the attorney you select to represent you.

2. COPY DOCUMENTS

This is one of the most important things you can do in preparation for your divorce and that is to go through the household files and make copies of everything you can find including but not limited to tax returns, bank statements, check registers, paycheck stubs, employee benefits handbooks, retirement account statements, life insurance policies, mortgage documents, investment statements, financial statements, credit card statements, social security statements, wills, automobile titles, and any other relevant documents. Be sure to check your home computer as many people keep financial information on the home computer. Copy at least one year of documents, more if it is available, such as the last three years of tax return, etc. Take copies of documents found on the computer. It is easier to obtain these documents now then in the divorce discovery process later on. It is important to keep these documents in a safe place such as with your attorney, a trusted friend or family member. Do not leave the documents in your home or your vehicle.

3. INVENTORY HOUSEHOLD AND FAMILY POSSESSIONS

Create a list of major items such as furniture, artwork, jewelry, appliances, automobiles, etc. You do not have to list every spoon, knife and fork, just the major items. Also, with the advances in computers and cell phones, it would be a good idea to take photos or a video of all items in your home. Be sure to open closet and cabinet doors and other storage areas and document and take photographs. If you have a safety deposit box, list the contents in it. Again, keep this information in a safe place as suggested in the prior paragraph.

4. DETERMINE HOW TO MANAGE THE FAMILY DEBT

It is important to determine the monthly expenses for the household. A helpful document you can obtain from any attorney (should be free to charge) is a financial affidavit. The affidavit is a form for determining monthly income, monthly expenses, assets and liabilities. You should also be able to obtain the document online by entering divorce financial affidavit. The financial affidavit provides you with a concise list of income and expenses versus having to copy all utility documents, food receipts, etc. Ultimately, a financial affidavit must be filed in your divorce case, even if it is uncontested. The affidavit will help you determine the amount of alimony you may require if that is at issue and help you determine if you can afford the home after the divorce.

5. KNOW THE HOUSEHOLD BUDGET AND EXPENSES

You should first consider canceling joint credit cards, especially if your spouse has a bad spending habit. This should minimize the financial damage an upset or angry spouse can do during the divorce. Next determine if any of the debt is non-marital, that is debt your spouse incurred prior to the marriage. That debt belongs solely to the spouse who incurred it. Next determine marital debt, and if possible and reasonable, consider paying it down after discussing this with your spouse. Allocation of marital debt between the parties is one of the most difficult items to negotiate in a divorce. Also remember funds that were formerly available to support one household must now support two households and there is less money available to pay off debt as a result.

6. DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT YOUR SPOUSE EARNS

If your spouse earns a regular salary, it should be easy to review and copy his/her paycheck stub to ascertain his/her income and benefits i.e. health insurance, etc. If your spouse is self-employed or paid in cash, it is going to be much more difficult to accurately determine his/her income. In these cases, keep track of the money flowing in to the household for several months and the money flowing out for those several months. Also, at least three years of business tax returns will be important to find and copy.

7. FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN EARNING POTENTIAL

If you have been a stay at home mother and wife, determine what your current employability is and whether you need to further your education prior to the divorce, if possible. Does your current job require you to be out of town. If so, consider whether you want to continue to do this when you no longer have a spouse to provide childcare. Determine the type of childcare you will need and the associated costs and availability of the childcare you require in your area.

8. EXAMINE YOUR OWN CREDIT HISTORY

If you do not have credit cards in your own name now, apply for them to establish your own credit history. If you have a poor credit rating, then try to pay creditors before the divorce is filed and improve your own credit rating. After the divorce or during the divorce, you may need to rent a home and your landlord will examine your credit history or you may need to buy a car and again your credit history will be reviewed.

9. START YOUR OWN SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS

You should have access to money of your own even if the divorce is only a remote possibility. If your spouse moves out and he/she is the primary income earner, then you may be responsible to pay the bills and it could take time before support orders can be entered in your divorce case. Or it could be you who decides to move out and you will need funds to pay a security deposit, possibly last month’s rent and other deposits for a new home. If you are going to file the divorce, and even if you are not, you need money to pay a retainer to hire an attorney. Retainers range from $2,000.00 to $5,000.00. The retainer fee is just the initial fee you pay to your attorney to retain that attorney and get the divorce started and does not cover the complete cost of the divorce. Filing fees for a divorce generally run about $400.00, depending on the county you file in and the service fee can run from $40.00 to over $100.00.

10. PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST IN THE DIVORCE

Do not fight or argue in front of the children EVER. So as to minimize the impact the divorce has on the children, maintain their normal routine as much as possible. Do not talk to the children about the details of the divorce and never speak negatively about the other parent in front of the children or in earshot of the children. In fact, reassure the children how much you and the other parent love the children. Do not use the children to pass along messages or requests to the other parent. DO NOT use your children as pawns in your divorce. Put the needs of your children first before, during and after the divorce. It is likely the children will suffer the most as a result of your divorce. Remember, you are there to support your children not vice-versa.

11. THE DIVORCE ITSELF

Remember once the divorce is filed it takes time. Your attorney has to comply with specific timeframes on the filing of documents throughout the divorce. Also, the judges and mediators are overwhelmed with the number of divorces filed these days. It can take up to several months to obtain a hearing before your judge. Unless you and your spouse agree on everything, then expect your divorce to take at least six months.

Does it matter who files first in the divorce: NO, it does not contrary to what most people believe. The judges do not care who files first. Why, because Florida is a “no fault” state and the only reason you need to file a divorce is “irreconcilable differences.” So do not fret if your spouse files first.

DISABILITY BENEFITS AND DIVORCE

Disability benefits are not subject to equitable distribution. Even if a spouse’s interest in retirement benefits is lost when the other spouse elects disability benefits, disability benefits are still not subject to equitable distribution between the parties. This also applies to lump sum amounts received for loss of past earnings. Workers’ Compensation benefits or a lump sum award for future loss of earning capacity are not considered a martial asset. This is because they are deferred benefits. However, Workers’ Compensation and disability benefits are considered ”income” when determining if alimony is applicable.

EDUCATIONAL LOANS AND DIVORCE

When one spouse incurs educational loans during the marriage, these educational loans ARE considered marital liabilities subject to equitable distribution between the parties at the time of divorce. This is true even though the other spouse receives no future benefit from the other spouse’s income due to his or her education during the marriage. Therefore, student loans are subject to equitable distribution along with other marital liabilities. Also, if for example, the Husband had $30,000.00 in student loans and the Wife had $26,000.00 in student loans at the time of divorce, it would be inappropriate for each party to pay his or her own loans. Instead their loans would be combined along with other marital debt and divided equally between the two parties. If student loans were the only marital debt the parties had, then the parties would be each responsible for a total of $28,000.00 in loans or marital debt.

ENGAGEMENT RING/WEDDING RING - MARITAL ASSETS OR NOT

The engagement ring is not considered a marital asset when it is exchanged in promise for marriage and the marriage actually occurs. If the parties do not follow through with the marriage, then the engagement ring should be returned to the party giving the ring to the bride-to-be. The party giving the engagement ring has a legal right to the return of the engagement ring if the marriage does not occur regardless of who cancels the wedding. If the bride-to-be refuses to return the engagement ring, the giver of the ring has the legal right to file a lawsuit to enforce the return of the ring and will likely prevail.

In a divorce proceeding, the engagement ring is the Wife’s sole property and not considered a marital asset of the parties subject to equitable distribution. This also applies to the Wife’s wedding ring and the Husband’s wedding ring respectively. These rings are considered gifts from Husband to Wife and vice-a-versa and remain each party’s sole property and are not a marital asset for consideration in the division of the parties’ assets.